233.6

Ladies and gentlemen, I am truly in shock. A couple weeks ago, I failed to enter a post because I felt like a true failure. I ran into my usual roadblock. I had been going down in weight then all of a sudden, BAM! Guests come in to town and bad decisions happen and I am back at 237. Shame sets in and I decide I need to make a difference. So I downloaded a calorie counter...myfitnesspal. what a difference. It didn't make me lose weight right away, but I sure did start to see the decisions I was making. Best of all, I noticed how my lunch decision has been a huge help. It has shown me how skewed my idea of a portion had become. I also realized just how uncomfortable I had been with my serving sized. My new lunch not only gets me the right size, helps me feel better, but helps me save money. Thanks FAY for waiting on me for the coupon. The weirdest point was where the program told me I was eating too few calories.

And things were going well, but then the true source of my weight problem. Emotional eating. A little less than a month ago, I saw the opportunity of a lifetime. A job opening came available ...a place I dreamed of working it since I went to a training course back in 2004. I couldn't let the opportunity pass so I applied. Not long after I got the call for an interview and quickly came the second interview, then came the call that I GOT THE JOB. Of to Chili's we go to celebrate and I down a bowl of chips. HOLY CRAP! I realize the error in my way and cool it down with the meal. Over the next few days I go through decision after decision and meal after meal, with the struggle of keeping it under control.

First come the emotional decisions of kids, family, friends, patients. Once this passes, the real stress of can I financially make this happen kicks in. Every inch of my being wants to say I will be there next week, but reality makes me see I will have to lose money on my house and be away from my family. My Tia Leo posts on Facebook (yes she is that cool) and I almost lose it! I talk to my cousin about Liz and the boys staying with them if we sell the house and she cries (we are very much alike). In my mind, I want to sink in to a big Chicken Fried Steak, but I resist and eat a kiwi instead. Instead of munching on Fritos and bean dip, I tackle the yard with waist high weeds (that's a whole other issue).

So imagine my surprise this morning that after all of this, I am still down from my last post. It makes me believe that I can do this and you know what, I am starting to believe it! I can do what I set out to do. Imagine, a little kid from the barrio whose parents didn't go to college, whose dad cut grass and mom made tamales to make ends meet, now can have the job of a lifetime. If i can put the discipline from work into my eating, I will be at 180 way before 40.

Stick with me on this ride, it is starting to get interesting!